Making Excuses for the Tooth Fairy

I was in the kitchen this morning hurriedly packing my kindergarteners lunch when my 11-year-old staggered sleepily into the doorway.  I greeted him with a chorus of "good-morning-how-did-you-sleep-do-you-want-cereal-or-a-muffin-for-breakfast?"  He slumped against the counter and dramatically announced, "I'm going to completely grow a new tooth by the time the Tooth Fairy comes to get the old one.  She didn't come last night.  Again."

My response, "Oh <think> nooooooo <think>, bummmmmmer <think>". 

Julian has been losing teeth with such frequency that we've started worrying permanent teeth are coming out with the baby one's.  When he lost this most recent tooth he texted me to say, "I just lost one of my remaining teeth and now I look like a freak".  Thinking back, he lost the tooth Sunday night.  Do the math Taylor, it's Wednesday. Damn Tooth Fairy!  Doesn't she realize we're dealing with a toothless freak here!

Clearly the Tooth Fairy has a serious problem with both her short and long-term memory.  It's the only response I can fathom.  Why else wouldn't she come and take the tooth of a self-conscious 6th grade boy who is starting to look like one of the characters on "Swamp People".  And I guess it makes sense, she is so unbelievably busy after all.   

At this point there is really only one course of action ... make excuses for the Tooth Fairy while she pulls herself together.

Step One: Blame the Victim

"Did you leave the tooth on your loft bed?"  <too hard for her to find>

"Did you put it in a plastic bag?"  <maybe she's confusing it with ... >

"Was it labeled?"  <grasping at straws>

Step Two: Too Many Excuses, Better Than Too Few

"It has been rainy and cold."  <flight and a potential frost risk>

"The LEGO mess in your room could be disorienting."  <revert to step one (blaming younger sibling in shared room), see step three>

"Didn't we just have a federal holiday? Maybe she isn't carrying enough cash". <back to grasping at straws>

Step Three: New Plan of Attack 

"Let's put the tooth in a baggie and write a quick note".  <easier to transport>

"How about you focus on cleaning your room when you get home so the tooth is easy to find." <encompasses all three steps>

"Remember, the best spot for easy access is on top of your dresser, right by the door". <easy access for Tooth Fairy>

Lesson Learned: considering my Blackberry never leaves my side, you'd think I could remember to set the timer and text a reminder to the Tooth Fairy!

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