Yesterday my youngest son started 1st grade. I didn't anticipate any first day of school anxiety so when I saw tears rolling down his cheeks and into his cereal it came as a complete surprise. I sat with him and asked what was wrong. Through bleary tears he addressed two issues 1.) what if my teachers don't like me and 2.) what if I'm too different from all of the other 1st graders?
<Ack>. Silly child.
Evan loved kindergarten. I attribute his happiness to his fabulous teacher Ms Freeman and the plain fact that he's a naturally happy child. Evan is just that child who is always exuberant. exuberant: adjective meaning effusively and almost uninhibitedly enthusiastic; abounding in vitality; extremely joyful and vigorous. This is my child. So as you can expect tears are rare, troublesome and make me want to cry. I hugged him, kneeled before him and said, "Did you know that I know both of your teachers?". As he shrugged I continued, "They are so excited to have you in their class this year and there is no chance that they could ever not like you. You're Evan!" He started to pat his eyes and I said, "Did you also know that every person is different? Being different is what makes each of us super special people. Don't be afraid that you are different, because being different is great!". To which he responded, "can you bring me a tissue?". *phew*.
While he wiped his eyes on a napkin I shifted my attention to my 7th grader who had been hovering, listening, and waiting to leave for his first day of school. I told him to grab his bike and meet me in front of the house for a picture. Moments like these make me feel like a juggler at the circus and my house is the big top. I ran to my bedroom closet. In the back was a brand new bright red Lands End backpack that I bought for Evan last year but never gave to him because he only needed a lunchbox. I rushed to the living room and handed it to him. He looked at me with joy, pride and a disbelieving chuckle and said, "for me?". I nodded and smiled. As he pulled the backpack from its packaging I ran outside for a quick picture of my middle schooler and sent him on his way. Inside Evan was parading around the living room with his new backpack. I walked to him, hugged him and said, "a new backpack for a new 1st grader". He stuffed his lunch box in the backpack and was ready to go.
When I picked him up from school I could tell he had an amazing first day and this was confirmed by one of his teachers. <relief>. Back home I scoured his book shelf for a few picture books that were about being different, but weren't written strictly for that reason. I recommend them all. As we snuggled in bed I didn't bring up the morning conversation. I let his questions and comments and silliness generated by the books content flow in their own direction. With all three of my children I have found that re-addressing an issue with a book - without them having to re-live the issue can be all of the follow-up needed. This morning he was up, excited and ready for a new day. Here are the books we read.
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| "Imogene's Antlers" written and illustrated by David Small. Imogene wakes to discover that she has grown antlers. Her mother is none too thrilled about her antlers but Imogene finds them to be very functional and likes them. |
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| "I Like Myself!" by Karen Beaumont, illustrated by David Catrow. This book is an ode to liking yourself. "Even when I look a mess, I still don't like me any less, 'cause nothing in this world, you know, can change what's deep inside, and so ...". |
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| "Chrysanthemum" written and illustrated by Kevin Henkes. Henkes is one of my favorite picture book authors. This story is about Chrysanthemum who is starting kindergarten and finds that the other kids don't like her name. |
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| "A Bad Case of Stripes" written and illustrated by David Shannon. Camilla loves to eat lima beans but discovers her friends hate them. She becomes so conflicted that she starts changing colors. A great story about individuality. |
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